I’ve been working on my business development skills lately. Trying to create sales funnels, and learn about marketing platforms but honestly today my heart just isn’t in it. Two young children were swept off a local beach a few days ago and neither of them survived. There was an abnormally large tide coupled with 20’ waves pounding the north coast and I, along with many others went down to see it in action. The ocean is a majestic thing when it’s pitching its full weight against the offshore rocks and sending spray hundreds of feet into the air. It’s not a mystery why people went down to see it. What is a mystery is why I felt called to go to that specific beach at that moment. It’s not beach I normally go to walk our dog Rosco and I had actually just taken him on good long walk a bit further south in Oswald West State park. So why when I got back in my car did I have the notion to drive north and down to a winding, pot holed filled road along the ocean? I told myself it would be fun to get a different view of the ocean from there. What I got a view of was lined up rescue vehicles and a helicopter making low and slow sweeps in circles searching the churning white capped surf.

It made me stop and become aware of the tragedy taking place. At the same time I was happily just walking my dog a few miles away, another person’s world was being torn apart.

I drove home not knowing what had happened exactly but knowing that someone had very likely died that day and my heart was heavy. Later I found out it was a 4 year old and 7 year old with their father who had been swept in by a sneaker wave. He survived and the kids did not. Now how does one even begin to cope with such trauma? And if losing your children wasn’t bad enough you get to live, and then relive, that horrifying moment the rest of your life. How do you move on?

I keep on wondering why I ended up there. Maybe it was just a coincidence but I tend to not believe much in those anymore. As I watched the news of the tragedy unfold and spread throughout our coastal community online there arose in people anger and judgement towards the father. “How could he be so stupid” “Didn’t he see the danger signs?” Of course there also many voices of sadness and grief as well. And at first I was shocked to read what felt like mean spirited and heartless attacks on this poor man who had just experience the death of his children. I found myself being angry and judgemental about people being angry and judgemental.

Then as I sat with it some more, my heart spoke up. This is what it said:

“You were brought to bear witness that day to understand that life is precious and that life is fragile. The children that died were innocent and lost into the ocean’s arms. The grief and sadness in those swells released waves of emotion pent up in many people, so can you see how death became a healer in disguise? It is in these times that we reveal our shadows and the heart’s hidden pain. The choice to be in the heart is everyday and the path forward for humanity is to honor the reality that is life. Nothing is permanent, all that rises will pass away again and again. The lesson for you is to let go of fear and to see the fullness of living. The earth desperately needs the human heart to engage with it. Speak the words of peace and love. This will align you more and more with your light and power. Move forward in love. The truth is everywhere written in the living earth.”

That conversation with my heart lead me back to a concept that I was first introduced to by my friend (and amazing heart centered being) Iris Sullivan Daire (dreambirdstudio.com). “Nurture Culture” she called it. It is her vision of how she moves in the world creating art and healing with plant magic in the form of natural dyes and weavings. I immediately felt my heart respond when she said Nurture Culture in a way that happens when the brain gets an “aha!” moment- but this time that “aha!” was coming from my chest. It was as if the big picture that my heart and brain both needed to contain all the crazy ideas, projects, businesses and gardens that I keep creating and knocking down and creating again finally had a name.

In American Culture I often feel like a failure because I keep not arriving at the places we have all been told we are meant to go. Nurture Culture helped me realize that I wasn’t arriving mainly because I’ve been on a path towards a different destination all along. When I found a name for it I then realized it isn’t actually a place to go but a releasing of many layers of enculturated fear, shame, judgement and anger. It is putting the heart in the driver’s seat and using the brain as a helpful (if not always correct) navigation system.

In a Nurture Culture I wonder how we would respond to an event like a tragic accidental loss of young children in our community? In a Nurture Culture I wonder if we would know the ways to feel and express our grief without the need to make it right or wrong? In a Nurture Culture I wonder how we would treat the ocean differently and if we could honor the life within it as much as ours on land?

I don’t have the answers for anyone but myself. Each heart has a different journey and voice to express. If I have one purpose I am aware of it’s to hold space for others to connect with their own hearts. I believe in doing so we will heal, envision and create a future for generations to come that looks very different than the reality we find ourselves in today. One of peace, balance, health and love.

I guess that’s why I found myself at that beach a few days ago. To remind me that the time to create this Nurture Culture vision is now. Life is short and hearts all around me are in need. Let everything I do be a seed towards this vision. Let it help me see grief disguised as anger. Let these children’s deaths not be for nothing. Let this heart breaking moment be a gift that offers us our grief as a healer, unifier and inspiration to love even more.