Cultivating the Well Life Garden. New Year, New Approach.
Journaling the in the Well Life Garden at the I AM retreat held in August of 2019 at North Fork 53 Retreat Center. Photo credit to Danika Lynn at https://danikalynn.com
How do we cultivate a well life? The life we really want. Not what we hope to find time for after we do all the other things- but a full experience of living in alignment with our joy and seeing our dreams become reality.
The disconnect between the life we want to have and the life we find ourselves working our butts off in comes back to haunt us around the New Year. We ask ourselves how is it possible that I worked so hard all last year and I’m still not any closer to: writing that book, or saving that money, or having time for my own self? We resolve to do it better this time. And, if you’re anything like me, as soon as I resolve to “do it better”, I can already feel a bit of my inner child in rebellion. “I can’t work any harder” she yells. “Don’t tell me I can’t eat sugar!” and with her resistance engaged the resolution starts to lose momentum. I end up breaking the resolution (usually by the end of January) because I am just punishing myself rather than stepping back and looking at where I actually want to go.
The truth is, no one teaches us how to live a well life. We are taught many things in school but there are no classes on how to listen to your inner guidance, passion or calling. There are no classes on how to create a life goal and then create a balanced plan to take steps towards achieving it. Most of us just do what we saw our parents do (good or bad) and then try to stumble through life working hard and hoping for the best. The messaging in the culture is “get a job. work hard. be good. and maybe someday you can retire and enjoy yourself.” All the while we are bombarded with advertising assuring us that “You’re not doing it right. You should be doing it so much better. You’re not thin/rich/smart/cool/powerful/unique enough.. but if you buy x,y,z..”
Sound familiar? It’s the water we swim in and many of us don’t realize there is any other option.
That’s why I was so excited to find well life coaching by Brianna Borton at The DragonTree last year. I didn’t really know what well life coaching was except I felt “You can’t be doing life right” if you need a coach. I used to laugh about people getting life coaches- “I mean I’ve made it this far alive without one…” haha. .
Then I looked into it more and I realized that it was exactly what I was wanting and needing. Even though from the outside my life looked fairly harmonious and abundant, in the background I was running myself ragged and felt overwhelmed. The harder I worked the more I felt like there was always something more, something I was missing. I wanted to make the world a better place. I wanted to feel more alive and energetic. I wanted to have time to be more creative and to play instead of waking up each day feeling like I was just slowly chipping away at a never ending to do list of work. So this year I’m excited to share with you some of what made last year a game changer for me.
2020 isn’t just a new decade- it’s a new approach to life that is designed to reclaim my time, energy and money for the things that I care about the most. Life doesn’t have to wait for retirement. The old stories of this culture are crumbling before our eyes like the tower card in the tarot. Our opportunity now is to sow the seeds of a new culture of nurturing and life in its place. I like to call it “Growing the Well Life Garden”.
Being an organic farmer for over 10 years I tend to think in terms of growing and harvesting when it comes to life and work. No matter what what you do for a living though, you will find that following nature’s rhythm feels much better than the fast pace created by the human mind and technology. In January the earth is quite cold and sleepy in the Northern Hemisphere. The garden work is mostly in the planning stages; selecting what seeds to grow this year, inventorying your supplies, deciding on how much to grow and making a design on paper for the where, when and how it will happen. When growing a well life garden you will find most of the planning applies quite the same.
Start by setting aside some time to do the planning. (I suggest an hour or two to start) and write this time on your calendar so that you keep this important date with yourself. When your planning date arrives, get to a quiet place with a cup of tea and a notebook or journal.
Well Life Inpsiration happens at North Fork 53 through retreats like “I AM” women’s empowerment gathering. Check out Ciara and Abby’s offerings at https://www.iamalliance.me for future dates. Photo credit to Danika Lynn at https://danikalynn.com
First take a look at what you grew last year (or decade) in your life and reflect upon this in your journal.
What projects/accomplishments/relationships etc. were the blue ribbon winners- the ones you the most proud of and why? What about them felt good to you? What lessons did you learn from these wins and what do you want to remember moving forward?
What did you do that you would like to throw in the compost? What ended up taking more money, time and energy than it was worth? What happened to make it feel that way and how could you do it differently- if at all in the future?
What are you willing to let go of? What are some things you don’t need to replant this year- or need to pull out to make room for new ideas and growth. This can be old goals, job descriptions/titles, expectations from others, “I should or I need to” projects and ideas that keep not getting done and maybe just don’t make sense for you any longer or aren’t true to your heart.
Are there any resentments/upsets or old baggage you are hanging onto? Is there anyone you need to forgive (including yourself?)
Just let all this pour out onto paper. Then go back in and circle or highlight the things that are the really important ones and ask yourself what qualities do these things share- good or bad- that are calling for their release or for more focus in the year and decade ahead.
See if you can pick out your top 3 goals for this year and write them down. Ask yourself: Why are each of these goals important to you?Who do you need to become in order to bring each of these goals to life? What character traits, habits, or skills do you need to develop to accomplish these goals? What would life look like if these goals were the main focus of your time, energy and money?
This kind of journaling exercise is a great way to start the planning for your 2020 Well Life Garden. Planning is a key part of getting what you want in life because if you don’t know where you want to go— how will you know if you get there or not? Most of us can identify that we want things to be different in our lives but we can’t really describe how our ideal life would look. This could be a result of a long habit of not listening to our own needs and desires and instead proving to ourselves that we can be the best at giving others what they want or need. Women especially are conditioned to this and so when we finally are confronted with what we want our garden to grow (just for us, based on what we want, love and feel joyful about) we feel guilty about claiming it or we really have no idea because no one has ever asked us before. If you can find your top three goals or seeds that you are excited about growing this year you are well on your way to making a beautiful garden.
Tune in to my next blog for more Well Life Garden Planning for 2020 and please comment below with your questions, ideas, goals and things you are composting. It’s so inspirational to grow our well lives together- by doing so I believe we can seed a new culture that can heal the planet and nurture our spirits for many generations to come.
