Turn your 2021 goals into a life you love!
It’s the second week of January and already the resolutions we made might be feeling a bit shaky. The world continues its chaotic course and daily stresses pull at our old habits to reemerge and help us cope. Our brains are hardwired for survival and although this does tend to keep us alive- it doesn’t always lead us to our happiest and most fulfilled selves at the end of the day. To stay strong for yourself and your dreams here are some useful tips that work with your brain to keep you feeling calm (the place from which all good things flow!)
Slow Down
When everything in life is telling you to do more and pile it on your to do list. Don’t.
When it feels like there is not enough time in the day to get all the things done you are trying to do too much. You can’t win a fight with the reality that there are only 24 hours in a day.
Trying to pack more than you can do into a day is exhausting. To meet your goal of feeling more peaceful, having time for your journal, taking care of your garden, doing yoga, cooking healthy meals, diving into that art project, spending more time with your kids etc- you need to drop things to make room.
New resolutions to ourselves can’t just be added on top of the list of things we are already overwhelmed by, things will have to make way for a new reality to expand.
If 2020 taught us anything is that we can do much less and still survive- maybe even thrive! Commitments that we make out of feeling guilty and things we take on to make others happy can gracefully and lovingly be released.
What can you let go of to free up time for what you really want?
To get clues spend one day tracking your time. Create a paper with a list of each hour from midnight to midnight. Just observe with no judgement or changes. Note when you get up, and each hour or so take a minute to write down what you did on the paper.
Now see how much of your daily time actually lines up with your goals for the year? What you want to bring into reality needs space to grow, so what you can weed out of your day to make room for what your heart’s desire? If we spend our time first on all things we feel we need and hope we might have time later for our goals- they will never manifest.
Prioritizing time for what you want might mean that your house is a bit less clean or that you hire someone to help you out. It might mean that you spend less time on social media or answering emails each day. It might mean you go to bed sooner and rise earlier. Whatever your day looks like- if it isn’t filled with the life you want, ask yourself what you are waiting for? What needs to change to make room for your happiness?
Do Less
Maybe when you track your time you will notice your day looks like starting a thing and then switching to another thing and then sweeping the floor and then checking email and then running to get dog food and then seeing someone and talking for 30 minutes, then dealing with the next thing that comes at you etc etc until fall asleep.
Most of us spend our days reacting to life and spread so thin that we get into overwhelm mode- which leads to avoidance and procrastination of finishing much of anything- much less doing new things we want to try. At the end of the day we are exhausted but our to do list seems to have only grown. We have no time for ourselves but spend hours juggling the balls that other people throw us to deal with.
When your life feels like you are “getting through it” instead of enjoying it then it’s time to do less and enjoy more. Survival is the norm for our brains and so it avoids focus and trying new things and tends towards reacting and distraction which take less energy but never yields new results. The trick is to notice this habit, disrupt it and create a solid plan for having each day feel like a gift rather than a chore.
Schedule it
In order to create the life you love you have to plan for it. If you think that you’ll get to your new nature journal or yoga mat after you finish your “to do” list - your little sprout of a dream will struggle to survive. To avoid losing your deepest heart desires to the random chaos of the day- make a plan to get those dreams on your calendar first. Then keep those dates with your desires like they the most important meetings you will ever have.
It’s important to be specific about these dream dates to give your brain no excuses to back out on you.
What time are you starting to write that new book exactly? On Tuesday from 9am-11am.
Where are you going to do it? On kitchen table.
What do you need to gather up and who do you need to notify not to bother you?
Computer charged and ready to go.
Shut off my phone and all notifications
Tell my partner that I need total concentration for 2 hours.
I need a cup of tea and and a little snack ready.
Goal of writing straight without edits for 2 hours.
Don’t leave anything up to chance and keep it focused on one thing at a time. Piling too much on or not having a clear and focused goal and plan of action is a slippery slope for your brains to talk you out of it.
Starting small and breaking bigger goals into easy do-able parts keeps our brains feeling calm and willing to participate.
Feel it all
We have the power to reprogram our brains to serve us in creating our heart’s desire. As we let go of things that have comforted us in the past- like eating sugar to soothe bad feelings- we find ourselves feeling the bad emotion with no way to make it better. That’s damn uncomfortable.
We have been taught since childhood that when we feel bad or uncomfortable to reach for a balm and to distract ourselves from the feeling. We are told “cheer up, don’t cry, don’t be mad, and to smile” But these bad feelings are just a part of being alive.
Normal life is about 50/50 feeling sad and feeling stoked- if we participate in the world around us we can’t help react to what is happening. Although ads and social media will only show you people living in their most happy and joyful expressions- the truth is life is ups and downs match our emotions.
Allowing yourself to feel bad or uncomfortable for a little bit is also allowing yourself to feel alive and to be present in the moment. Trust it, sit with it and honor it. For this I recommend a deep breath, some tea, a journal or just a hand over the heart and an inner voice to yourself saying “I love you. I’m listening”.
You will be amazed by what you learn from sticking with discomfort and the truths it can reveal just below the surface. Trust also that you won’t get stuck in discomfort if you allow for it. We get stuck in loops and habits by trying to avoid or numb our feelings but once we allow our emotions to be felt we can learn from them and move forward.
Drink Tea
Ok- tea is optional in this process, but I do believe tea is the perfect ally to help you slow down and to clear your mind so you can focus on what really matters to you. Sitting with hard emotions is helped by a cup of comforting tea. A little caffeine helps to get those essential projects on your calendar done throughout the day. At night a relaxing cup of herbal tea can soothe you and give you a great night’s sleep.
Unlike alcohol or even coffee- tea has a gentle effect on the mind and the body. It helps you to tune in rather than numb out or push through. For thousands of years tea has been used for meditation and to create harmony within and between people.
So Stay Calm, Do Less, Drink Tea and Live the Life You Love in 2021!
-xo
Ginger
