New Year's Evolutions- Create the life you want by starting where you are.
Making a list of New Year’s resolutions and then not following through on them is a running joke in our culture. Yet each year we pull out a blank sheet of paper and do it anyway. Why? Because the energy of a fresh start feels so good. It’s hopeful and full of promise.
Even if in the back of our minds we know that the year ahead will most likely look like the year that just passed. Maybe a few things will change- or maybe sudden changes may upend everything, but rarely is that by our own design. In general we’re doing great if we can maintain our balance as life hands us challenge after challenge.
This year I decided to tweak the resolution game a bit and make New Year’s evolutions instead.
A resolution is something that you’re resolved to do. The word evokes discipline, hard work and determination (three things that human brains are hard wired to avoid like the plague).
Evolution indicates a slower more gradual process. Becoming a different version of yourself. This is the goal of resolutions anyways- to have a happier, more peaceful and fulfilled life. So what if you don’t need to lose 20lbs or travel the world to get there? What if all you need to do is take the life you currently have and slowly learn to just enjoy it more?
In my training as a life coach over the past two years I learned a couple of key concepts that helped me immensely.
First: Don’t fight reality.
Expecting to wake up on January 1st with a sudden influx of will power you’ve lacked every year up to this point is probably not likely.
You are still you. The world is still full of challenges and time constraints. The good news is- most of we think is “reality” is just a set of beliefs in our heads- so you can change it, but only if you start in with your mind.
Second: Your thoughts determine the quality of your emotional state.
You can look in the mirror and see the most beautiful person in the world and be brimming with pride or look in the mirror and be bitterly disappointed and overwhelmed by feelings of failure. The only difference is in what you’re thinking, which in turn affects how you feel, which affects your actions (and by extension your relationships, choices, and your life in general).
Change your thoughts = change your life.
Go the gym with the the thought that you are fat and out of shape = you’ll end up proving the thought true by giving up. This is what 95% of us do. It’s why resolutions don’t work for most of us. You can’t create a solution from the same thoughts and emotions that created the problem.
Now that we know why Resolutions don’t often work- here are some very easy and enjoyable 2023 Evolutions that really do work.
They are quick, free and backed up by real data showing they have created positive changes for thousands of people.
Try one or all of them out and you will be looking at investing about 15 minutes or less of your time.
High Five Yourself in the mirror each morning. Author and speaker Mel Robbins has done lots of research on this one and across thousands of people of all ages and walks of life has shown that the simple act of looking yourself in the eyes in the mirror and giving yourself a high five everyday makes you feel better about yourself and boosts dopamine in your brain. It creates a feeling of self love even if you are feeling down. Takes less than 5 seconds to do and it works! Try it and see. It may feel silly at first but if you do it daily you will notice a shift in how you are feeling about yourself.
Create a list of 10 things you really want for yourself this year and write them down as if you already have them. For example : I have my dream job of being a photographer. I weigh 150lbs. I drive a Mercedes. I am traveling Italy with a gorgeous romantic partner. After you write them down circle the one that will have the biggest positive impact on your life. It will jump out at you. Then let the other stuff go. Just focus on making more space in your life for that one thing that will move the needle. Trust that the other stuff will follow. This act relieves your brain from overwhelm and will give you a surprising amount of clarity on what you really want. Takes less than 5 minutes.
Text (or call) a friend once a week. Let them know you’re thinking about them. Research shows that connection to others is one of the biggest creators of happiness. Too often as adults we lose touch with our friends as we get wrapped up in our busy lives. Just sending a text a little poem or thought about why you appreciate them not only will make you feel good- it will make them feel loved and connected too. Studies also show that an 8 minute phone call is enough connection to fire up all the happy chemicals in your brain so set a timer and pick up the phone- you can build lasting friendships in under 10 minutes.
5 minutes of morning peace. Set a timer and start taking 5 minutes in the morning for yourself. During this time you can sit quietly and watch birds, practice breathing deeply, do a gratitude journal or simply close your eyes and enjoy the silence. Taking a tiny bit of space to set up your peace for the day. As you make a habit of cultivating a feeling of inner peace (vs. rapid fire thoughts and rushing around) you will find you want more of it.
5 minutes of evening reflection. Set a timer and before you go to sleep close your eyes and do a review of your day. What felt good about the day? What do you want more of. What didn’t you like during the day/want less of? You don’t have to change anything in your life or even write it down, but this gentle review practice builds a new level of awareness. You may be surprised by what made you happiest. Add a little gratitude practice in here and you really will boost your brain’s happy chemicals.
I hope these little New Year’s Evolutions inspire you to find peace, connection and happiness in tiny pockets throughout your day. As we evolve slowly to become more calm, other areas in our lives will naturally start to improve. You may find that you lose weight without even trying because you aren’t reaching for a bag of cookies to soothe your stress as often. You may find that a trip to Italy wasn’t as important as the need to create more fun in general by going on coffee dates with friends or visiting art museums.
Whatever you discover let it be a gentle process of being nicer to yourself rather than looking “improve and be more productive”. Take naps. Take time for tea. Take your days off seriously and everything else less seriously.
Happy New Year!
If you love this post and you plan on trying some of the tips out let me know in the comments below!
xoxo
Ginger
